Sometimes Mommies Just Know Best

Too make another long story short, the last several days and feeding Little Man has been emotionally demanding.  Even though feeding times doubled and tripled in size, Little Man would sometimes only get may be one small jar of baby food.  Leaving him hungry and even more frustrated.  He would just get so fed up that he would scream, pull on his bib and demand the mealtime over.  His 4 molars coming in (one as of yesterday did make its appearance) only exacerbated his frustrations further making it a perfect storm for Ian.

I have never seen my son cry almost all day long and throw tantrums like he was demonstrating.  I'd place him in time outs (and yes, Little Man sits for timeouts) and nearly cry because I knew the causes for his fits were not entirely uncalled for though I usually don't stand for them.  But this was different.  He was hungry, frustrated and hurting.  For the first time ever, I witnessed my son make two fists and shake them out of anger and pure frustration.  As I placed him in his third timeout, I went into the kitchen and cried as he was crying.  As soon as he was done crying I scooped him up in my arms as if to say sorry almost.  I probably confused the little guy.

Trying to null the situation, I had even tried giving him some ice cream for lunch one time.  I was just desperate to make mealtime fun again.  I even broke my cardinal rule and placed him in front of the television to feed him and contemplated doing it for the duration of these feeding expectations, even as I feared that a new habit would form that I would have to brake later on.

Finally, after Ian whaled all afternoon on Friday and after noticing how hungry he was, I decided that I had to initiate some changes and deviate some from the speech pathologist's plans.  Having a starving child was just not acceptable to me anymore.  So after visiting with my friend L and seeing how hungry my son was at her house and how much he was practically running after food, I decided that indeed sometimes mommies just know best and the changes I started earlier I was going to continue on through the weekend. 

I have contacted the speech pathologist, and although I have not received a reply or response from her as of yet, and I am not sure what her thoughts will be on my changes, I do know for a fact that mealtimes are 10 times more civil now and my son's hunger is being met once again.  So as far as I am concerned right now, his eating and lateral tongue movement have improved and he isn't starving anymore.  Please continue to pray for us, as I really would like my son to get into the new habit of eating this way even with the changes I implemented.  I really do hope and pray that I know best.

A Vibrating Teether and An Electric Toothbrush

Sure, I was expecting the speech pathologist to give us homework so to speak.  And yes, I was expecting being shown new ways of feeding Ian to reteach him how to eat, but I did not expect quite as much to buy, use, and the desire to cry out of pure frustration as I have wanted to with in the last 48 hours or so.  And when the speech pathologist gave me a list of things to purchase from Babies'R'Us including a vibrating teether and an electric toothbrush to help with his gag reflects, I remembered my first thoughts were to the affect of "I have never heard of a vibrating teether?" "Do they really make such things as vibrating teethers?" "Do people really use electric toothbrushes on their infants and toddlers?" Oh and yes, I was also taken aback by the mesh feeder as well.  I had never seen or heard of that one before.


With all those items starting to loom in my mind and the thoughts of the daunting task of trying to plan the best time for me to get them entered my brain, I quickly started scanning through my loaded calendar and schedule that I had stored in my head. As I was doing so, I was not expecting to hear what would come out of her mouth next, which totally overwhelmed me from the moment she spoke it and demonstrated what she was expecting us to do. And in retrospect, obtaining and using those objects were going to be simple compared to the rest of what she was expecting us to do. 


Again, I was expecting Ian's feeding style to change some, but not quite to this degree.  She informed me that due to the fact that when Ian was an infant suffering from acid reflux, and in desperation to eat quickly to avoid as much pain as he was possibly able, Ian learned how to swallow wrong.  Instead of using his tongue laterally and with several bites, Ian uses his tongue to gulp down as much as he can in one swoop and he only chews using the front of his mouth.  In other words, he needed to learn how to use his tongue laterally by placing food to the side of his mouth, for which his food currently does not touch often.  To do so, she informed me that we could only give Ian pureed food for a week to two weeks--mostly she believed for two weeks.  Okay, do-able I thought to myself as I glanced over at Paisley and Ian who had started to pull everything out of my purse, until she continued on by saying that Ian was not even allowed to have any finger food at all; not even for snack.  NOT EVEN FOR SNACK!  She continued on with instructions and more as I continued to wonder how this was all going to shape up.  I knew tears were in Ian's future; wasn't expecting it in mine though.


Long story short, Ian has had two days of this new routine that will only last about 2 weeks mind you and when we finally get that one down, the speech pathologist is going to change it up again.  And on top of all that, we are already in the middle of trying to get our new school routines down with the girls' extra curricular activities as well.  I have to use a dropper and a small infant sized spoon (half full mind you) to feed Ian his pureed meals to the sides of his mouth.  What used to be simple, is now difficult.  For example, usually Ian will have a nutrigrain bar and some dried cereal for breakfast with an occasional yogurt, making running around getting everyone dressed easier.  Now his feeding times have doubled and sometimes tripled in size and he sometimes only gets half of what he normally eats.  It is long and tedious.  Ian begins screaming because he doesn't understand why he can't get his normal finger foods and why he is getting such small amounts of food at a time.  I also have to spoon feed his snacks as he is seated.  Essentially, no more Cheerios in a bowl in the livingroom. 


By the time feeding time is over, Ian is crying and has tears running down his face and all I want to do is join him.  He cries for his normal foods when he sees them and points; even if it is when I am opening a cabinet door.  Telling a 1-year-old that to help with your GI problems you have to relearn how to eat is just not going to happen or go over well.  To say this is frustrating is an under statement.  Ian and I are extremely overwhelmed.  We have ended each meal today basically with near emotional breakdowns in each others arms.  All he wants me to do is hold him in my arms and all I want to do is hold him after a mealtime.  I have wanted to cry several times today when he looks at me like he is being punished or gypped.  I get a lump in my throat.  And this doesn't include the vibrating teethers that he needs to use periodically through out the day and his electric toothbrush that I have to use on him 4 to 6 times a day for 2 minutes each time.


Please pray for us and for Little Man.  I know that God is using even this.  And although Little Man can't seem to get a break in the sense it always seems to be something he has to deal with and suffer through, I know that God is teaching and molding me.  I am learning about patience and how to put my emotions aside and bless another who is low; and I also honestly believe that God is preparing me for the future and the choices we have made as a family and as a couple.  God is indeed good; but we could always use some prayers too! ;-)  Please pray that Ian gets this lateral tongue movement down and he can work himself to finger foods sooner.  And most importantly, that he catches on to this and that it helps him with his gagging and vomiting issues.  Thank you so much!

Some Tests Results and Some Good News

Even though Little Man is pictured crying in the photo above, he did very well during his renal scan yesterday.  In fact, he even fell asleep for a short time as well.  Unfortunately, Andy accidentally woke him up as he had to administer the Lasix flush through the IV about half way through the test.  He needed a little light and had to move Ian's arm to access the IV better.  But I give it to Andy because he tried his best to keep Little Man asleep.  He even placed Ian's lovey (his burp clothe) over Ian's eyes hoping to not to disturb him.  Although the attempt failed and Ian eventually woke up whaling and letting everyone in the hospital know that he was very displeased, Andy sure tried and was so attentive.  And well, Little Man for that matter still remained very still.  He never tried to get off or move or anything.  He just slept or cried and remained absolutely still.

I had been so nervous about how Ian would be during the 50 minute test (not including the prep time) as he has become quite an active little boy.  He climbs up onto everything.  For example, the other morning Scot found Ian doing the army/soldier crawl across the top of our little kitchen island.  He got up there all by himself.  Little Man keeps us on our toes to say the least, but he did remarkably well yesterday.

Anyways, it is hard to see him go through this--getting pricked and prodded some, and seeing tears of fear and pain run down his face; however, it is all a blessing at the same time too.  I don't see hospitals as a place of illness and sadness.  I see a bunch of people, for the most part, wanting to help others and bless others in a way.  We have gotten to know some of the staff.  And Andy for example has been a true blessing.  He comes right over to us now and chats with Ian and plays with him some even when we are still sitting and waiting in the waiting room.  He always takes care of us.  He helps us feel comfortable and get's us drinks and snacks, free of charge.  One time he got me a blanket when he noticed that I was freezing my little tooshie right off!  Also, he is so gentle with Ian.  Never has a problem with placing a passy in Ian's mouth, when he was younger, or ensuring Ian is warm and comfortable.  It is nice to see other techs and nurses play with him as well and give him toys and stuffed animals.  In many ways this all has been a blessing to see others love on my child.

Yesterday, the day started off with the cancellation of the CT Scan.  It was an error on office employees.  As I realized that morning what CT scans entailed and heard that he had to have his blood drawn to check his kidneys, in order to do a scan on his kidneys, I knew something was off.  I was glad they caught the mistake and called the urologist himself to discuss the issue.  I did feel a little naive about everything yesterday, however.  Generally, I ask a lot of questions and may be this time I dropped the ball a little.  Perhaps with his GI troubles and such I just got a little overwhelmed with remembering everything.  Anyways... regardless it didn't happen and God was looking out for Ian.

Ian did not need to be cathed yesterday!  Thank goodness!  And Nurse B. got his IV with the first try again.  A huge blessing too.  It took three nurses/techs and Scot and I to hold Ian down and get the IV going, which tells you how strong and big our little guy is for which I am blessed that for the most part, Ian is one healthy boy and we all joke that he has a future in football at this rate!

We saw our urologist later that day who liked what he saw.  He said that his kidneys are stable and that he believed that their function had improved slightly.  He said that although both of Ian's kidneys still experience some urine retention and it takes his kidneys a little longer to empty than normal it was still in the lower end of normal.  Urine evacuation takes longer for the left kidney than the right one, but that is because his left one is larger.  The urologist went even as far as to say that he believed that there may not be a partial obstruction anymore, but he wouldn't know for sure unless he went in and took a look, which is simply not an option right now.  He thinks as Ian has grown a kink, or something of the like, has worked its way out, which is another blessing that God has given us such a growing baby boy!  So there is a name for his condition hydro something or other.  I can't remember how to spell it and I don't feel like finding the spelling right now! HA HA!  But basically, he has an enlarged left kidney and urine retention.  We still need to keep an eye on his kidneys but not as often as his next renal scan will be a year from now!  YAY!

With that said, we do have a few more docs to see and a few more tests possibly to go in regards to his GI issues, but hopefully by mid October, we should be in the clear for a while Lord willing.  Please pray for that blessing.  Ian had a barium test for his upper GI last week.  The gastroenterologist had a pathologist in the room for part of the test.  In regards to what she observed, Ian takes large swallows and did not chew much, which baffles Scot and I a little due to the fact that he chews other foods quite well, like crackers, nutrigrain bars and bananas for example.  We take him to the pathologist this week who will help him learn how to chew and swallow properly.  The barium test revealed that there were no irregularities in his upper GI tract.  And due to the fact that no acid reflux was readily seen, and the fact that he also had not consumed any dairy products at all for a few days due to the power outage, we came to the conclusion to put his endoscopy (I so may have missed spelt that) on hold.  Ian will go to the allergist and then we will see the gastroenterlogist in October and go from there.  He is still concerned that Ian has allergic esophagitis and wants to get cultures of his stomach, but Scot and I want to see if we can possibly rule things out with out putting Ian through another round of test(s).

So that's it for Little Man's update for now.  The girls are great!  Skye had a great first week of first grade even though it was one soaker of a week!  Due to bucket loads of rain, Skye's soccer game was canceled today due to sopping wet, soaked fields, but hopefully, she will get to play next week if the weather holds.  Paisley is well and enjoyed her birthday festivities!  She also started her dance classes and she is so very excited to start preschool on Monday.  She has Skye's previous preschool teacher, which is an absolute blessing!   

I am almost positive I have grammar and spelling mistakes but I am under a bit of a time crunch esp. now that I am holding Ian on my hip and typing with one arm, so please forgive me!  Hopefully, everything makes sense!