Ho Hum... the Holidays...

I remember my first set of Holidays as a married couple. By the end of Christmas Day, I found myself on Scot's old bed at his parents' house crying. The tugging and pulling that occurred after each set of parents realized that the Holidays were no longer going to be the same; when they realized that their child was now married; and there were two families essentially trying to fight for time with their own child, well... it just got to me by the end of that day. I simply lost it by the end. At that point, Scot and I came up with a plan to make the Holidays easier for us and our future family.

Our plan has worked for years... well until recently that is... There were a few bumps last year. And then well this year... Let's just mention this year... Some wrenches got thrown right on in and "the plan of attack" has been forced to be abandoned so to speak. Mostly, it has been scheduling conflicts. As fear, worry and dread started to overtake me in regards to "the what-to-do's" and "how will others react" my friend suggested something that honestly has never crossed my mind before. A couple of weeks ago as she and I were discussing our Holiday plans and the stress over planning them, she told me that I could pray over the Holidays and pray over the decisions, planning and scheduling. I thought to myself "WOW! Never thought about praying over the planning!" What an awesome idea.

As I was praying over the "planning" aspect of the Holidays, I soon realized that I hadn't been praying about the Holidays as a whole as one of my daughters reminded me of this earlier today. 'Out of the mouths of babes.' She simply and plainly came up to me and asked "Mommy, are you excited for Christmas time?" I looked at her for which a small lump developed in my throat. My answer that was stirring in my mind was "NOPE." Now I didn't tell my little one that family discourse(s) had swiped the Merry Christmas rug right out from under my feet just a day or two prior and the "holly jolliness" of the Holidays had become a "ho hum..." kind of a theme. I replied that I was trying too enjoy them. Then I made up my mind that no matter what, for the sake of my kids that I was going to enjoy it for them. So I realized that I needed to pray for me, my immediate family, for my extended family on both sides as well as a situation that I have found myself in.

While I am unsure as to how the Holidays will go and how things will work out, I know that God is in the midst. And if I find myself filling up with the negatives, I am going to claim some thanksgiving in my heart. While I can't control the thoughts and opinions that others may have of me, I can control mine as much as I am humanly able.

If you find yourself stressed about the Holidays and certain aspects of that 'wonderful' time of the year, I urge you to pray.

And with that... Happy Holidays!

Leaping Into The Great Unknown

I am a control freak. I like to plan plan plan. In fact, I exhaustively try to plan for the unexpected--an endless endeavor to take on to say the least especially when this world is full of the unexpected.



When God says leap, I generally only leap if I can see where I am leaping to; where I am leaping from; and sometimes what am I leaping over. Otherwise I am like a little child who has climbed up the ladder, walked across the long board and stands at the edge of the diving board afraid to take the leap into a free fall into the unknowns of the depths of the "deep end" of the swimming pool.



Over the last few years, God has revealed to me what path He would like me to take in a specific area in my life. And seeing how God has molded my life around this desire for me, I have planned to follow and obey; however, I have been so busy trying to figure out every detail about this decision, rather then trusting that God has taken care of the details for me and for my family. I feel like the path He is leading me down is dark with no light to lead the way. Instead of trusting in God to lead me as I go and that He will provide "a lamp unto my feet" I am too busy crawling on my hands and knees in the dirt and grime trying to find any rock or hole that may trip me up. God wants me to stand up straight and tall and grab His hand and trust that He will lead me safe and sound through the unknowns of life, because all of the what-ifs simply cannot be laid out before me. Part of this adventure will be learning to TRUST in God.





With in the last few weeks God has clearly shown me what I am to do and to never mind what other people say or the unknowns of the future. He has convicted me, revealed Bible verses to me and prompted me with questions by others. While one primary fear has kept me from fully trusting in God to proceed down the path for which He has opened the gateway to, He provided me with a verse to claim in regards to it: Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. Psalm 16:5


So here I am. I am about to take a leap of faith. A leap into the darkness--not knowing where God will catch me or where I will land. Taking a deep breath; about to free fall into the trusting arms of God. My free fall may last for a few years as I am not sure how things will turn out for years to come but I am going to shed my doubts and trust. Release. Freeing.


Here I go, LEAPING INTO THE GREAT UNKNOWN....