The Truth Behind the Staple

Picture if you will, finding Little Man at the bottom of the stairs with his belly and chest pressed against the bottom step and his hand still grasping the pink, striped Victoria Secret bag, which he held onto until the bitter end of his fall.  Imagine hearing your toddler fall down two to three steps behind you and hearing his head hit the banister.  And as you pick him up and inspect him, you realized that your initial inspection must have been a poor one because you discover blood on your hand but you are clueless as to the source.  You frantically search your son as you are feeling like you are just one terrible mom for 1.) allowing your son to fall down the stairs and 2.) that you can't seem to figure out where the blood is coming from.  Finally, in your frantic search, you discover the cut on the back of his poor head.

Quickly, you inspect the wound closely and discover that indeed the wound needs added attention that you are not equipped to provide and so you head off to the ER.  Too make a long story short, you end up being with every other sick and injured person in your area that Monday morning and you wait three hours for just one staple.  BUT as the wound is inspected by a medical professional it is determined that the wound is more of that of a puncture wound rather than a hit to something like the banister like you had originally believed.  And as you take a look at the wound when it had been properly cleaned and before it was stapled, you could even concur the same conclusion as well.

And as you drive home from the hospital, you are puzzled as to what caused the puncture wound, when it finally occurs to you what had happened; and after careful inspection of the suspected item upon your return home, you can almost positively conclude the cause of such a wound.  It totally and completely hits you what had happened.  As your son fell, he punctured his head on the pink, striped card board Victoria Secret bag, WHICH you gave him to help carry upstairs and its contents no less included that of sexy negligee that you actually had decided to purchase for your husband for Valentine's Day for like the first time ever in your relationship!

Can you now imagine if you will, my horror as I realized how displeased my husband and father of Little Man would be to know that his son was wounded and needed his first set of stitches, or the like, was cause by that of a Victoria Secret bag carrying such content?  Now if you can imagine how this story may be carried on and laughed about when Little Man is grown?  Poor Poor Little Man!  LOL!

BUT as ironic and silly as that whole thing was and still is in many regards, one thing remains: The truth is, we were simply meant to be in the ER that day.  As Little Man and I sat in our room in the ER, we observed our surroundings.  We discovered many children with respiratory problems.  Almost directly across from us, was a familiar sight--two signs warning of the precautions that needed to be taken with a chest infection.  I heard a familiar cough as well behind the door and saw how the medical staff dressed just to enter the room.  The door was left cracked open and I could hear the staff telling the mother of a little, blond girl that they were going to admit her and that she needed to wear the mask through the hallways of the hospital to get to the pediatric unit.  And as the door opened I saw a little blond girl with little pair of ugs laying beside her on a bed that they were moving out of the room.  She had the same yellow, pale skin tone that Skye had two years ago in that very same ER during the very same exact week when Skye was stricken with her bad case of pneumonia.  I kid you not.  Skye was admitted to the same hospital this very same week 2 years ago almost to the day!


As she left the ER my eyes filled with tears as yet again I had been reminded of that time.  However, I soon realized that it was another great reminder of how God was and is faithful.  He provided me with strength and support before I even realized it and even when I was doubting His goodness.  He showered us with love during that time and I grew spiritually because of it.  I thanked God for the reminder and for the sweet little girl across the way.


I also took the opportunity to pray for a girl I had never met.  I prayed for her health and for her doctors as well as her parents.  Little did she know that a perfect stranger was touched by her illness and was lifting her and her family in prayer.  I was meant to be there to pray faithfully for her.

Not Quite Ready

I am not quite ready to discuss our leap of faith in any detail at this time.  I know that some of you are curious about it and wondering when I will just simply state it and write about it directly.  I know that others have asked, or have wanted to ask me, personally about it.  Some of you may think that you have it already figured out or may be we have simply stated it to you, face to face; however, that is simply funny because we don't have it all figured out just yet either and we probably won't for quite some time as we are even unsure of some of the specifics of our leap.

We are at a wait and see what happens stage in our leap... guess that is why it is called a leap of faith in many regards.  At this point, we are not sure what door shall open first as we know we are headed in the right direction and down the correct hallway.  When I feel the time is right, I assure you that I will write more about it because I think that sharing with others is a key to faith and faith building.  Also, please note that some of it I will keep private as well.  Some things just do not need to be shared publicly--some things are left better unsaid.  However, with that said, you may not completely understand why some things were hard for us with in the last few months when I do write about it; but that will just have to be the way it is supposed to be then. We have had some things occur since our leap that wasn't exactly related to the leap itself but it most definitely affected it just the same and perhaps knowing that some of you may never hear the complete and full story, I am somewhat fearful of what you all may think or say.

BUT I guess I am willing to take the risk someday soon anyways.  I have reasons for feeling this way and I want to make sure that when I discuss it further and include more details, that I have taken the time to think and pray through it and to have ample time to write about it and to share about it appropriately.  There are other reasons why I want to watch how and what I write about as I know what others are going through, or have been going through, and what has been impressed upon us.  I want to do it with care...

Why Searching Was a Good Thing

Yesterday, Little Man started to wheeze a little bit.  Knowing that I had plenty of Albuterol, I thought that it wouldn't hurt to give Ian a breathing treatment.  I found three sets of masks and accessories for each of my children that were labeled so nicely in their containers, but I couldn't find the nebulizer itself; so I had to go search for it.  As I spent about the next 15 minutes searching for it, I couldn't believe that I had actually forgotten where I had placed it.  I realized how it was a good thing because that meant we hadn't used it in quite some time.  As I continued to hunt for it I realized that it had been about a year since we used it last!  WOW!  If you would have asked me last year if I thought that we would actually go one year with out using it, I might have laughed in your face because that didn't seem fathomable at the time.  Well, it is true and that realization was a blessing to me even when I finally found it and gave Ian a treatment yesterday afternoon!

Don't Have To Be

This is not one of my typical posts I am afraid.  This is just me being transparent in the moment while still feeling led to write it even though I am afraid it is not filled with any eye opening revelation to any degree today.  Wish I had more to offer in this post besides my feelings but it is just where I am today.

Our faith free fall is completely just that right now for us and especially for me--an absolute free fall--and I just feel like each day I am just hurtling from the sky this way and that way.  Feel like this has all become one big joke and I am the one who is left not laughing.

Starting to doubt what I believe God told us to do, because of course it is not going how I wished it to go... but I guess that is simply it--yielding.  And while yielding to God hasn't exactly been fun and some things have occurred with in the last few months that have left me absolutely dumb founded in many respects; all I simply have left to hold onto today are the few nuggets God has given and the confirmation God gave us from the start. 

I feel like I am right back at the beginning of my spiritual walk again.  Feel like I am right back at where I was a few years ago.  I simply just don't have the strength today.  But I guess that is the point.  Listened to a song earlier that is so true.  I am not supposed to be strong enough.  I need to grab hold of God's strong mighty arm.  I kind of feel like I am in a pit today and I can't get out on my own strength and feel like giving up in many regards.

...But may be, may be that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom
That's when I start looking up
And reaching out.


I know that I'm not strong enough to be everything
That I'm supposed to be
I give-up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
All right now I'm asking You
To be strong enough...


I DON'T HAVE TO BE STRONG ENOUGH

~Strong Enough by Matthew West