My Journal Entries

So I decided about two weeks ago that it was time to take a different approach with my journal entries.  As many people, my journals are filled with writings that express how I feel about certain events and such in my life.  They could be entries filled with joy, hope, inspiration, sadness, sorrow, grief, longing, etc.  Lately, however, I discovered that my journal entries comprised mainly that of anger, discontent, sadness, and a variety of other disparaging thoughts.

While my writings also included glimpses of profound thought and hopeful revelation, it was beginning to become far and in between.  Writing used to make me feel better about situations.  God would use it to help me grow spiritually; but my emotions had taken a foothold.  Writing in my journal didn't provide me any solace anymore.  In fact, I started feeling worse as I wrote, which writing used to have the opposite affect.  This needed to change.

While I have had my reasons to be upset and hurt, continually writing down my negative feelings wasn't getting me anywhere either.  What I was writing was not something I wanted to reflect upon years down the road.  Continually harping on hurt feelings and negative situations was just leaving me all the more bitter, resulting in fruitless thoughts and actions that got me absolutely no where, but feeling worse.

So I decided to take a different spin on how I wrote in my journal, for which I am already noticing the positive affects.  I decided that each day, I would take a few minutes to list and reflect upon five things that I was thankful and grateful for that day.  This could be a range of things.  Anywhere from how my kids made me laugh so hard at dinner one night to how flowers that I thought had died in my flower bed and bloomed again!  Wherever and whenever there was a positive, I would list it and hang on to it!  After about two weeks, I am having some problems keeping it to only five items!  Sometimes you will see some bonus positives thrown in there!

Also, to help combat my low self esteem that has crept into my life recently, I have also decided to list three things that I did right and/or good things about myself.  I am still working on myself image, but I am doing better to end my evening thinking positive things about myself rather than the negatives like I so often do. 

I am taking more joy in my journal entries again.  They are providing me with more hope and spiritual well-being than they have in a while, which is a good thing!  I look forward to not only writing in my journal again, but going back and reading them in the future!

Running Therapy

I have been trying to get back into a workout routine now that Big Mac is getting older.  I have worked out a few times in the last few weeks.  Getting back into a good routine has been a little difficult, but I am trying. 

I have been discovering that my favorite workout and exercise has been running.  There has just been something about it that just rejuvenates me both physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I am by no means a great runner.  In fact, when I played collegiate volleyball, my coach's mile and a half required run during spring training was not my favorite thing to do.  I had no problem with the short sprints.  They could be brutal at times but they were quick; however, there was something about the longer runs that got to me.  May be I was less focused, or something, but now times I have changed. 

It feels so good to accomplish something.  It especially feels good when you have pushed yourself to go the distance; to make and obtain running goals.  There is also something about feeling your muscles tight and firm when running.  The ache and sweat feels physically good to me.  Running releases endorphins that just kick start my day and energy.  It is like my healthy version of caffeine, which is way better for you by the way! 

As I have been getting out and running more, I have discovered something that works for me when I am running.  I don't know if this is true for anyone else, but it is definitely true for me.  Sometimes when I am running, I get caught looking just a few short steps ahead of me, which makes me actually slow up and almost feel like I could trip over me feet.  I do much better running with speed, agility, and stamina when I look ahead.  It is so easy to get caught up by where I am at, and not where I am headed.

As I was running one morning after I had a few frustrating things on my mind (those frustrating things actually are what I used to help me get out of the door one warm Saturday morning), I applied what I had learned during my runs to that of my own life.  As I have stated in previous posts, I have had a lot of things going on with in the last several months.  With out going into too much detail, just know that I have been through a great deal and have been hurt.  However, I have been spending so much time just looking at the current situations and dwelling about them that I haven't taken the time to look up ahead.  God has a plan and can use anything for his glory.  Dwelling about the negatives in my life were just bringing me lower and making me unbalanced.  I was spending more time worrying about where I was currently than trusting that God had a plan, and that he would see me through and that there was light ahead. 

As I have learned running, lift your eyes from your current situation and surroundings, and focus your eyes ahead to what God has for you.  You will have more strength and run faster.  Perhaps as you look ahead, the low time in your life won't be as low for as long.  Fix your eyes upon Jesus and the Cross, for strength and endurance to overcome the trial you may face, and to see the positives the trial can bring. 

I like this picture above for a couple of reasons.  I think it demonstrates what I am trying to say.  The path is winding.  It isn't straight.  The path isn't always going to be a smooth and straight line, but it is the path that God has laid out before us.  Secondly, where the kids are running is a little shaded and darker, but if you look ahead there is light, which demonstrates why we need to lift our eyes ahead upon Him and trust Him.