A Syringe Full Of Reminders

Over the course of several weeks, we have been in constant chaos around our house in regards to what I keep referring to as our "house disaster" due to damage and repairs from a leak in the wall/ceiling from a pipe.  I wish I could say that the house was the only thing that felt like was in chaos, but I had many things going on that left me stressed, and feeling low.  After being let down several times as a little girl, being forced to rely on others to get things accomplished is killer for me, and then when you couple that with impatience, which I have always struggled with through out my whole life, and dealing with other downer kind of things, I had problems rising above the difficulties.  It was just hard for me to find my happy place, and extra hard for me to find the positives for a bit as well.

As the house repairs and renovations came to a close, one area of stress decreased quite a bit.  I was excited to get our house back in shape again.  In the midst of sorting, cleaning, purging, and putting everything back in their spots, I came across something in the downstairs bathroom.  When work began in our house, and as damaged things and areas were removed, Scot and I had to quickly remove our personal belongings out of our coat closet and downstairs bathroom.  All of our wall hangings in over half the first floor had to come down too.  Things either got stacked in our master bedroom (how romantic btw), or placed in our attic.  As things got repaired and back into working order, we had to locate items and put them away in their proper places.

I was doing this with the items for the downstairs bathroom.  As I was sorting and putting things away into our new bathroom vanity, I came across some items that I had completely forgotten about, and that we had saved.  I found a sodium chloride flush syringe, and a PICC line sterile prep kit. Memories just flooded back in.  The syringe that I now held in my hand was full of reminders of what had been just about fours years ago (and inspiration for this blog).  I remembered being about 25 weeks pregnant with Little Man with 4-year-old Sky Baby's arm resting gentling on her bed.  While being excited to have her home from the hospital after several days, and knowing that she had even wound up in the ICU, I remembered feeling nervous to hold such a syringe after only having a half hour crash course in using it as Sky Baby was home still recovering from a bad case of pneumonia.  If I did it wrong, and flushed the PICC line incorrectly with it, as I had to administer meds, I could stroke out my own daughter.  This was frightening to me.  Above that fear too, I had to clean everything properly to prevent an unwanted infection.  Scot and I had to take our time and trust ourselves with caring for her, but above all else trust in God.

I had to trust God.  I had to rely on Him through that whole month she was sick.  And I had to be patient with God's timing, and God's healing.  I HAD to be patient--very patient--when administering meds and dealing with Sky Baby's PICC line.  I had to follow the steps... step by step...

Life is about the steps... Life is about trusting others sometimes... Life is about trusting God... on His timing and plans even if they are unknown to us sometimes... Find the positives whenever you can as I had learned everyday that Sky Baby was sick...    

I sat on my new bathroom floor with a syringe full of reminders in my hand... and again perfect timing for those reminders...