Doors and a Window

The last few weeks feel like they have gotten completely chaotic on me!  It is always GO GO GO!  And taking the kids here and there; and so many demands.  It is hard to slow down sometimes.

Well, last Thursday and Friday were no different.  I was off going non-stop from 6 AM on; however, a few things that seemed to be an annoyance, caught my attention.  I have had the chance to process it now, and to share with you!

In the midst of the rush on Thursday morning, I had come to the realization that one of my master bedroom window panes had an actual problem occurring.  After a cold snap, the window was displaying a fog like appearance in its upper window pane.  This annoyed me, because it cut down my view of outside.  Upon further inspection that morning, I had realized that there was some kind of seal break, for which was causing the problem.  This annoyed me a bit, because the window was a replacement window that we have only had for about 8 to 9 years; however, I was thankful that although there would be a wait, due to a warranty, a new window pane would arrive.  In the meantime; however, my clear view out that window wasn't going to be for a bit, due to the moisture trapped in it.

The next day, Friday, was like all the others days in that week--busy.  It was off to another crazy and busy early start.  As I had gotten the girls off to school, I had to turn my focus on getting Little Man to preschool as well as Big Mac and myself to a baby gym class.  I was doing my usual mad dash around the house, but something that happened earlier in the week had gotten me a bit down.  With that looming over me and the rush of the morning, I was off to a negative start if you know what I mean.  I had frost on my van--the first one of the season.  A bit earlier than years past.  As I realized that I had not accounted for the time I needed to clear the van's windshield, I  became even more frantic than my normal rush.  I ran to the van, quickly started it, and turned on its defrost when I ran back into the house.

As I closed the storm door behind me, it swung back open.  I closed it again, and it popped back open allowing cold air to stream into my little house.  I closed it again as I thought about Big Mac who would probably try to make another great escape out that same very door since the locking mechanism had been having problems for weeks!  Knowing this all, I proceeded to slam the door in haste as I was trying to prep to leave.  The door popped back open.  Frustrated at the fact that Scot hadn't made what I had believed were the best attempts to address the problem, and hence the fix, I grew angry about it, and the inconvenience; and therefore, I did what any other person would do--I slammed it even harder!

Well, that appeared to work, because the door stayed closed.  However, as I scooped up Big Mac into my arms, and told Little Man he could go ahead outside, I discovered that my actions had caused the door to break or jam or something, because Little Man and I couldn't get it opened!  It wouldn't budge.  I pulled, pushed, yanked, and even kicked, but the door was jammed.  Called Scot over and over and over again before he returned my call.  As he did call me back, however, all I did was yell at him about how long it took him to return my call, and about the door still needing to be fixed, and how was he going to help me. 

We discussed my departure, which was to leave the whole back of our townhome unlocked, so that we could have an entrance back into the house, and I would take the boys, and myself, out our sliding back door, through our tiny yard, leave the privacy fence door wide open, go down the steps, around our row of houses to the van, which by the way was still very much running!

I could tell as one neighbor was sitting on her front stoop smoking her cigarette that she wondered why we had journeyed around the row of houses instead of just going out our front door.  And of course to prove that something was indeed wrong, after I had strapped the boys into their seats, I went back to the storm door for one final pull.  It was still stuck tight.

As I got in the van I hit the button for Little Man's side of the van's automated sliding door system to close, when all of a sudden I heard the familiar and annoying sound.  The door alarm started going off, which only meant one thing--Little Man's sliding door wouldn't close all the way again.  Now this usually only happens when it rains, but that day it decided to do it because it was too cold out.  Ever since a trip to the beach one time about two years ago, when the kids climbed into the van before I had time to tell them to stop to get the sand off their feet, they got sand all in the track of that one sliding door.  Terrible grinding noise occurred until I was able and at a place to get some of the sand out of the track.  However, when there is a lot of humidity, the door to this day still acts up thanks to the sand that is still there I suppose.

As I had to switch the manual button so that I could manually close the van door, I thought to myself, What are with all the door issues, and window, all in one short period of time? 

Well, I have been able to conclude a few things about my actions, and how relatable to life, and to this blog, those two doors and widow actually were to me.

For instance, the window being hazy and foggy, and obscuring the view, is like periods in our life when things and situations are just not clear to us.  We have to wait patiently for God to reveal His plan and purpose, like I have to be as I wait for the new window pane to arrive.  He will restore our vision when the time is right, and when everything is ready, as when my new window pane is slid into its tracks, and my view is restored after it has been made brand new.  Sometimes our circumstances have us in a haze, and we have to trust God to know the way, or to see the whole picture.

As for my glass storm door, other parallels can be formed from the experience such as allowing the frustrations of your day, your life, your circumstances, to dictate your actions and choices.  When you let frustrations get in the way, and you don't trust that God will fix them, like Scot with our door.  And then you try to take control, or inappropriately take the wrong set of actions such as me choosing to slam the door out of frustration, which actually made the situation worse.  You see, we have had to slam that door a number of times to get it to remain closed, and with doing so, we have created other problem areas for the door, which we have discovered can actually jam it into its own door frame by catching on two spots with in its own frame.  So by my slamming it harder and out of anger, the door got stuck and I made us late for Little Man's preschool that day, amongst having to leave my house unlocked, and our longer journey to the van.

Lastly, sometimes God gives us the right doors that we need for our life, or circumstances; however, sometimes we get the hinges and/or tracks dirty and cruddy causing them to be harder to open or to close them, like what my kids did with the van door.  Sometimes we blame God when this happens, or blame others instead of taking responsibility, and we decide that God is not there for us when in fact He is there for us.  The wonderful news about God though, is He often is the one to clean up our messes, and problems that we have created...  Grace and Mercy!