Tiny Little, Pesky Things

About 10 days ago, I was at the pediatrician's office for Skye and Ian. The pediatrician looked up at me and almost jumped with excitement. "Well, at least its not in the chest!" she exclaimed. I was so happy to hear those words, especially after last year and after quite a few chest infections that we have experienced over recent months. I kid you not when I say that we have been at the pediatrician's office for someone, whether illness or a follow-up visit after an illness, once or twice a week since the very first week of January! I think I should be a part owner in that office or something now. Especially, when two or so times, I have taken all three kids with in one week for something! The last few months we have been riddled with illness after illness, and while not all have been chest infections we have had our run of them, including myself.

That afternoon, I left that office feeling a little low that we were sick once more, but rebounded rather quickly with the thought that "Well, at least its not chest infections." Skye had a sinus infection and Ian had a cold and an ear infection, although it was his 2nd in less then a month, but hey, it wasn't a chest infection--right?!

Well, just a few short days later, Paisley came down with croup, which then mutated into bronchitis and an ear infection. While I was there at the pediatrician's, I asked them to check Ian because his cough started to sound funny to me. Turned out that he was wheezing and needed a treatment. The doctor said that she believed he had RSV.

I remember a lump formed in my throat as I realized that all three children will have been nebulized at one time or another since December and that I was going to be nebulizing two of my children at the same time. And on top of that, the pediatrician and I were both fully aware of the fact that it had been a year since Skye's terrible illness. Tears formed in my eyes as I went searching my knowledge as to what I can do to protect the health of my children just short of living in a bubble. My positive from a few days prior--at least we don't have chest infections--had flown right out the window. As I could feel my negative feelings take over me, I flat out made a decision right then and there that I was not going to go down into the 'pit.' And then I found a positive when reflecting on Skye's hospitalization. "Well," I said to myself, "at least we are not at the hospital. We are going home today and we will be home as a family."

The night before, when Paisley's fever returned after a day and half or so of being fever free, and I knew it probably meant that she was developing a chest infection, we bought a pulse oximeter. As I told my mother about this and that I was happy to have something else to help reassure my worried mind for my children and their breathing, she told me not to pull it out all of the time and use it. Basically, that I shouldn't become consumed with using it. I knew what she meant and that she was right.

Today at Wellspring, oh and speaking of Wellspring Bible Study, through out all of our illnesses, we have managed to have a break from them on Tuesdays where I have been able to make every meeting. A side note, but I think a pretty good side note! God is good. God has wanted me to be there.

Anyways... at Wellspring today we studied Psalm 131. The following is what stood out to me the most. It was the first verse:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
My eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great for me.


Wow! Let me say that again--WOW! This is David speaking here and what he says is powerful. I think what he meant here is not to spend your time and consume your thoughts on things that are beyond your control and are not tangible. Like me constantly worrying about our health and more specifically the health of my children and a relapse/recurrence of last year. While washing hands and such can diminish our chances of illnesses and the affects of the illnesses, running around with the thermometer and pulse oximeter in hand like a crazy woman and sanitizing my kiddos with worry and hand sanitizer where I might as well shower them in the stuff, doesn't necessarily mean that we are going to stay healthy and germ free. And doing such stuff and worrying can be physically and emotionally exhausting and it can be taxing on those watching or subject to it, like my kiddos for instance.

Little germs and bacteria are so far beyond my control. I can't stop them. Those tiny little pesky things are so much bigger (HA! I laugh at the thought of that very statement! Such irony in it.) than I can handle and control with actions and worry alone. All I can do is try to control my thoughts, find every positive I can find, pray, go to scripture and claim it for me and my family and listen to praise and worship music.

So if you find yourself thinking that you can control a situation that is too large for you, go to God. You CANNOT do it on your own strength. You will exhaust yourself trying. Look to God. If you have something in your life that is larger than what you can handle, whether it is your future, a health condition, death of a loved one, rejection or reputation has been scarred, or whatever it may be, I challenge you to go to God. Find the positives, read scripture, talk to your Father with prayer, listen to praise and worship music, because you are not supposed to do it by yourself...