God Has a Plan I Know

God was most definately looking out for us today. Even as the morning dragged on as I waited to leave for the hospital and I was feeling a little anxious, the phone rang and it was someone from my church. Not even someone I usually talk to on a regular basis; however, as she was calling in regards to something about Paisley, we got talking about Ian and his procedure. She asked to pray with me over Ian and my family. It was such a calming moment and such a blessing. I thanked God for her phone call and felt that He definately had perfect timing.

Before I knew it, it was soon time for us to run out the door to the hospital. Ian and I arrived at the hospital and Outpatient Services at 2 PM and to my surprise, it all went very smoothly especially considering my terrible phone call with a hospital rep. the day before. They didn't event ask to see my insurance card stating that we have been there enough lately and had recently obtained the card the last time we were there with Ian. I thanked God as I waited in the waiting room.

Scot dropped off the girls by our friend's house and he soon met up with Ian and myself just in time for the IVs and catheterization. Ian was such a trooper. Ian fell asleep and as the nurses tried to find a vein to use for his IV, they asked if I was okay to hold him during it. I think that ended up being such a good idea because he woke up and I was so focused on embracing him and keeping him still and trying not to drop him while he cried and as he was grabbing onto me tightly in pain that I never cried. I was strong for him. Right after his IV was placed, the nurses started playing with him and using the small stuffed animals that they had pulled out especially for him (that they gave him for keeps), his smiles quickly returned and he was flirting with the staff. I really liked the nurses. They were so attentive to our needs.

Through out the afternoon, so many different hospital staff members commented on how Ian was such a good baby.

We got the same radiologist as last time and he was great. Like last time, he found a quiet place for us so that I could nurse Ian, and he provided us with snacks and soda (free of charge btw). He even wiped some spit from Ian's cheek at one point, and he got a blanket for me when he noticed I was freezing my little Allan booty off!

As soon as the radio-active dye was inserted into the IV, I could tell right away that his left kidney was still obstructed. It looked to me worse than before, however, we will not know for sure until we see the urologist next Friday. I started to tear up and a huge lump developed in my throat. I am not sure what I was expecting and why I was tearing up more today than last time, but I was. Perhaps it was because I have grown even more attached to Ian as I have gotten to know my son more in the past months. He is such a good and happy baby, and I am blessed to have him.

Right when fear and worry began to spread over my spiritual and emotional garden like a nasty weed, I noticed that my mom and another friend text me. Ian soon fell asleep and I was able to sit down and communicate with them as Ian's test was 50 minutes long. I told my mom how I was fighting back tears and had a huge lump was in my throat. I then wrote to my mom about how "God has a plan I know. He is looking out for Ian too." But it wasn't like I was trying to convince myself of this fact this time. I knew in my heart that it was true.

Then it struck me while texting my mom that even now God was still working. I remembered how I have struggled with patience through out my life and since I was a little girl; and how all of the hospital visits, hospitalizations, doctor visits, tests and waiting for results, I have been forced to be patient and how God had definately been working on that with me with in this past year!

My mom and I were also able to realize how God has been working in other ways recently, which was such a powerful moment during Ian's test. I do not believe in coincidences. Everything has a purpose. For instance, even accidentally reading the incorrect devotion in my daily devotional has ended up being exactly what I needed to get through that particular day. Nothing is just by chance.

As we were leaving the hospital around 5:30 PM, I discovered that Homegroup had been canceled and I found myself to be very disappointed; however, after Paisley had a total meltdown at Christy's, I realized that my whole family, including myself, were exhausted and we needed a night off to rest some. So with that said, I am going to get off of here and rest a bit.

Pardon any grammar mistakes and such, too tired to proof read much tonight.

Please pray that God would reveal to Scot, the urologist and I on how to best move forward with Ian and his care. Thank you.