Announcement! (What a Roller Coaster Ride!)

The week I wrote my last post, we found out that we were expecting our next child!  We are expecting our fourth little addition to our family around Thanksgiving!  Our due date is November 19th of this year. It was such a blessing and answer to our prayers and wait.

As excited as we were, the last several weeks have been an emotional and a spiritual roller coaster.  First, when we went in for our 8-week appointment and the first picture of our baby went up on the screen, I quickly realized that we were not looking at an 8-week-old baby.  I knew we were at about 7 weeks along, which given my irregular cycle that wasn't too much of a surprise and my doctor confirmed that for us.  And well then I remembered when we went in for Ian's first ultra sound we discovered that we were not 8-weeks along but closer to 10-weeks along.  All that to say that part wasn't too surprising for us; however, it was actually what we found out next that caught me off guard.

We were told that there was a pocket of fluid at the base of the placenta, which for some women that generally means that a miscarriage is likely.  My lips quivered and tears came to my eyes as I heard the news.  And even though she proceeded to tell me that because I was not spotting or bleeding, which was good, she couldn't give me any statistics, I found it both hopeful and a little disconcerning at the same time.  I was placed on "pelvic bed rest"--basically no excising nor other activities...if you know what I mean--for the next 4 weeks.  I had another ultra sound scheduled four weeks out and we went home.

I got home and refused to open any of the goodies from that goody bag--the one that many OBGYN's hand out when you are expecting.  You know what I am talking about?  This time I placed my new canvas bag on top of my dryer and walked away.  I even got mad at Scot later that day when he started to pull things out of it.  It was just easier for me to prepare for the worst at that point.

During our early pregnancy, we also had some extended family members experience some physical injuries and other health concerns, which brought me to another emotional level as well.  I was a bit overwhelmed with life at that point to say the least.  Then I came down with my very first case of strep throat too, which compounded the morning sickness for me as well.  On top of feeling like I was swallowing jagged rocks and broken glass, at points I was vomiting every 20 minutes or so.  As I was coming down with more and more symptoms and pain, I was home alone with the kids while Scot was at work.  By lunch time that day while I was trying to pick up play-dough and fix the kids' lunch while vomiting every 20 minutes or so, I started to mutter out loud "I am not going to make it."  The kids stared at me when I kept laying on the living room floor saying, "Lord, I don't think I can do this."  Seeing this and hearing this, all three kiddos started to help me more.  Even Ian helped pick up the play-dough all be it, it was throwing all of the entire balls of play-dough with out their right full containers into the plastic bin; but you have to give him kudos for trying! Finally, only the second time in our marriage, I asked Scot to come home early from work because I felt that awful. 

Each day in the last four weeks, I have had to take each day at a time; or rather, I have had to take each step at a time.  Each day I thanked the Lord for all of my kids and thanked the Lord for each extra day that I had with my little angel baby inside of me, uncertain as to what the outcome would be.  I had to lay my baby at the foot of the Cross and place his or hers tiny self and the placenta in His hands because it was beyond me.  I have had to trust that God would equip me for whatever lay ahead.  It has been a leap of faith for sure to say the least.  Felt like I have been in over my head at times, but that is where I have wanted to be--trusting in God.

I had another ultra sound performed today and WOW! that baby was kicking and moving like crazy!  I saw his or hers heart beating!  As soon as I saw that my baby had grown and was moving with life, tears filled my eyes and a lump developed in my throat.  I thanked God. 

There is still a very small pocket of fluid but my doctor said that she didn't know if it was worth noting at this point or not.  So we shall see.  My baby is in God's hands.  We are blessed.  I dearly love this baby already.  What a leap of faith this has already been and will be!