At The Top Of The Hill

Life just hasn't been easy lately.  I have been blessed by so much, but choices and circumstances have left me down trodden while trying to cope.  On a side note, I did see my OBGYN this week, who after discussing things with me and such, doesn't believe that I am suffering from postpartum depression.  On the contrary, with all things considering, and with the circumstances that I have found myself in lately while being a mom of four with one of those being an infant, I am handling things fairly well.  Life just has sort of been that crappie lately, and she believes that I have just been reacting to those events.

So with that said, and as I have mentioned in previous posts, I have had to find the positives in each day and to be thankful in all things.  In the dark times, I have realized that although I feel like I am in a pit waiting for the strength and help to climb out so to speak, God hasn't forgotten me nor my family; and He has provided glimpses of that throughout the last several weeks/months.

For instance, a few weeks ago, Scot had Lasik surgery performed about an hour away from here in pretty C'ville.  For various reasons, I was so excited and blessed that Scot let the boys and I drive him up there and back one weekday morning.  This brightened my day that I was able to help him out in this way as his wife.  The night before, we checked the weather and located some parks with in just a mile or so from the center for which Scot was going to have the procedures performed.  We had a game plan with the nice weather that had been predicted.  I grabbed cars and trucks for Little Man as well as some crayons and a coloring book, snacks, and more to enjoy time at the park with the boys while Scot had the procedure done.

It felt like a well thought out plan!  The next morning we dropped the girls off at school and headed up the road.  As we got closer and closer to our destination, however, the clouds grew all the more thicker and thicker.  As we arrived in C'ville, rain began to fall from the dark, grey clouds.  This was a bit of a bummer, but I was determined to do this with out complaint and make it all work out! 

The boys and I dropped off Scot and proceeded to try to find a fast food restaurant that had a play set.  To my dismay, however, out of the three to four fast food chains in this one general area, not one of them included a play set.  My heart sank as the rain showers continued; but I decided that if I could find a shelter/pavilion at one of the parks, we could make that work regardless.  After all, I did bring coloring items. 

I quickly found one of the local parks.  It had two picnic shelters and one included restrooms, which was a totally awesome find as I was in desperate need of some!  In the rain, I gathered the boys and we first rushed into the restrooms.  Finally, I thought I could catch my breath and enjoy the time with the boys, and I was happy that my third option had worked.  As we finished up inside the restrooms, however, I became more and more aware of some park maintenance workers who had also decided to seek shelter from the rain.  This rather displeased me some, but I still thought that we could make it work.

As the rain subsided, I sent Little Man onto the playground after secluding him inside of the van for a short time as I fed and nursed Big Mac with the men just only a few short yards from us.  They were very much aware of me as I them.  Little Man started to play on the playground when it began to rain again, so as the men were taking up shelter in the pavilion that I had deemed for us, but now had decided it was unfit for us, I did what any other mom trying to save what plans and expectations that she had for the day would do.  I handed Little Man an umbrella and told him to enjoy, for which one elderly man proceeded to tell me that he found that to be silly on a wet playground and a wet slide.  Let's just say my response to him was not that of the patient virtue kind, but one of annoyance of how others seem to take it upon themselves to judge others and making that judgment be known!

As we were there, I realized that another whole group of men had arrived to do something at the baseball field there.  Let's just say I was one mom with two of her children at a park all by her lonesome with about 10+ men.  I began to feel very uncomfortable with the situation and very discouraged about how all my attempts to make this a blessed time was appearing to be failing.  I felt like Satin was most definitely trying to take my joy away.  I began to pray right there to myself on the playground.  I asked God to protect us and I asked Him if I should retreat for our safety.  I even told Him that I was discouraged.

Right after I had prayed, and as I was about to give-up and call it quits, do you know what appeared up and over the hill from where we were?  A police officer in his cruiser!  And he remained at the top of the hill until all the men had dispersed and continued on their way, and just as I got the call that Scot was done with his Lasik surgery!  What a blessing and an answer to prayer!  God showed me that He was watching everything, and that He was in control.  He wanted me to see His goodness in that way that day.  And my eyes were at a point of seeing it and taking note.  Perfect timing!  Little did that officer know that he was used as a tool more ways than just one that day.  God kept me and the boys safe as He showed us one of His many blessings!

Keep your eyes open to see God's goodness! 

God is good y'all!!!!!!