Adrenaline (Well, That Was A Bust)

Whelp, yesterday Little Man was supposed to have another renal scan, but that simply did not occur though I assure you all that attempts were made. By 2:40 PM in the afternoon, everyone including hospital staff, Little Man, Scot and myself, parted ways with total frustration.  Last time we had a failed attempt at his renal scan, it was because by the time the Lasix flush was administered, his vein had collapsed and perforated.  We had to go back a few days later, which turned out to be a successful attempt; and we hope that like last time, we will have a better outcome the second go round, although the test failure was due to different reasons this time.

Little Man was doing alright and was all full of smiles and even followed A, to the room on his own accord and on his own power--he walked happily behind A.  However, as soon as we stepped into the very familiar room his whole countenance simply changed.  You could just see the memories come flooding right into his head and fear began to take over.  Right away he reached for Scot and wanted to be picked up and Scot did so accordingly.  Even when we had to lay him onto the table, he didn't want to let go of his tight grip around his dad.  Simply heart-breaking to watch and experience. 

Then we all watched as fear turned into adrenaline and strength.  Tears came flooding and screams came but then the sweating and the struggling began.  It was awful.  Little Man is a strong two-year-old boy on any day, but you add fear, memories and adrenaline into the mix, you have a new kind of strength and determination from Little Man.  He is a fighter and that was evident yesterday.  He will not go down with out a fight and a good hard struggle.  Part of me wonders if sometimes that is a good thing; and other times I believe simply that it is, especially given everything that he has been through.  Even when one staff member asked about his history for this procedure, two other staff members with out skipping a beat said that he has been in quite a bit.  About six times alone for this procedure and that they also remembered us bringing him in when he was only two-weeks-old.  J even said, "We have seen him grow-up."  She stated it perfectly, because he has been there a lot for a guy who is only two-years of age.  He has not only been there for six renal scans, but one VCUG and a barium test (for GI concerns) as well, not including the ultra sound performed at another hospital and his speech pathologist to help him swallow correctly that has an office at the hospital.  Little Man has been through the ringer, at least where his parents and he are concerned and it is starting to definitely show.

Anyways, to make a long story short, Little Man was pricked six times but had some form of needle in him constantly for about 40 minutes total with a small break in between.  He was so strong at points there were four to five people trying to hold him down including Scot and myself and/or to start an IV going.  They even put in a call for another male nurse to come in and help hold him down; however, he did not come in time to help as we all decided that we should end it all.  WE ALL left sweating and breathing hard and at one point had a bloody mess for the nurses to clean up as Little Man moved his hand enough to dislodge a needle with out any bandages ready.  It was a mess and we were a mess.

The nurses stated that he had great veins and could seem them all nicely but they said basically what was happening was that he had so much adrenaline, which is a vasoconstrictor--meaning it closes the veins--that his veins clentched/clamped up.  They told me that it could be a problem for years to come and it is something that we need to keep in mind for later medical care.  Before we all departed ways we discussed options.  The nurses explained why most hospitals refuse to do sedation.  She said because at that age, the amount to give is sometimes very hard to determine and if they react poorly to the dose before you have an IV going yet, there is no way to get stuff into the child to reverse the ill affects.  She said as a mom herself she wouldn't want to sedate her children.  So that option is out of the window now.

So the urologist wants us to try again...try again... Breaks my heart just thinking about trying again.  We will be trying again on Wednesday, but this time we are trying morning time at 9 AM (like I had originally wanted anyways) because Little Man seems to be the most hydrated and they may bring in ultrasound equipment to help locate veins even better.  Scot and I have discussed that if this next attempt works, great; but if it doesn't, we may consider another hospital where they have a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and request that some of those nurses come down to administer the IV since they work with children all the time who have weak and poor veins and adrenaline.  If that fails Scot and I would then for sure call it quits.  He is seemingly well and if there doesn't seem to be noticeable changes then we will just do nothing for now. 

If the tests are successful, and we discover that he still has urinary reflux and a partial blockage in his kidneys than we may consider and push for surgery.  Usually, people refuse surgery, but putting him continuously through these tests, or attempts, is just becoming too much.  WE will definitely be seeking and praying the next few days.  We ask that you pray on our behalf as well, and that God would help direct Scot and I to make the correct decisions in regards to Little Man, and to pray mightily over his second attempt at a renal scan next week.  I am so very nervous just to go through those doors.  I don't want to see his lip quiver again and tears flow down his cheek.  I have been trying to tell him that we are not doing this to harm him but to help him in the long run.  I have my 31-week prenatal check-up tomorrow and I have to bring Little Man with me, and I am so afraid he may panic before he realizes that we are going to a different area in the hospital and that the appointment is for me.  I even told Scot last night that I wanted, if at all possible, to get Little Man in to see me and his new little brother as quickly as we possibly can, so that of course he could see his baby brother, but that I want him to see that I had to be pricked and that I had to have needles in me as well.  How pathetic is that?  I just want him to know that he isn't alone.  I want him to know and see that others have had to go through what he has had to endure.